I'm pretty disturbed by the 2 seperate conversations I had with 2 girl pals today. And particularly with one of them.
It's about the hb and the maid issues (again!)
I don't know if she reads my blog, but I'll be very truthful here cos anyway I shared with her my point of view. I hope she can see where I'm coming from and not take it as a criticism.

We women used to be very submissive in the older days...even my mum's era, woman seldom go out to work due to family commitment vs the meagre income they bring in. Take my mum for instance. She didn't receive really high education, hence she chose to be a SAHM to take care of my brother and I after she gave birth to my elder brother. And for woman in those days, they need financial security as well as family ties. We seldom hear from divorce cases before as much as these days. I guess the most obvious reason being women are more independent and will not take the shit from men anymore.

I'm not trying to say that we should walk out of the marriage whenever something crops up. BUT i stongly believe that we should stand up for ourselves, and make the relationship work 2 ways and not any other ways.

We shouldn't be tied down because of worrying about financial support. To some degree, we have to think of  our kids. However ,however ,however (really getting frustrated here! ) we must never never hang on to a relationship because we want and think that the kids will be happy too if mummy and daddy 'pretend' to be loving but in actual fact, mummy is the one constantly giving in......

I'm no expert in this marriage thingy, but having been through a rough patch myself..... i think alot of things can work out if we want to. And by walking out sometimes, it wakes the man up on their feet to start thinking. I was insecure at times cos' I have not been in touch with the working scene for sometime. I once felt being 'bullied' by my hb and felt insecure aboout the whole thing that I freaked out. I wanted out of this marriage too, but things made a turn when we trashed things out. It's a long story and i wont go into details here. I just want to tell this friend that by being the party who gives in 24/7 isn't going to work out. It's just gonna be the start of a painful long journey with a man you love, but hate alot at the same time...Do you think your kids will not feel it?

I stress again that I'm not encouraging anyone to walk out, but to trash things out and make your stand..dun just be a 'little woman' without dignity. Please don't blame me for being so blunt, but I really have no more advice for her except to make her stand up for herself. I wish you all the best ,C!


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 And so, the other conversation I had was with a close pal. She is getting married and I'm indeed happy for her. I've seen her go through bad times in her past relationship and finally she found her true love. But she shared with me her problem with her husband-to-be. There is this woman in the picture who pesters her hb but her he claimed that they are just friends. I shared with her my little story too - not to trust men 100%...it' s better to be a little more reserved cos when things crop up, it'll be easier to handle than to have total faith and trust smashed right in your face. Of course she's in such a honeymoon mood to take me seriously. And her man on the other hand is accusing her of being overly-sensitive...DUH! Men...why can't they just listen to us for once! 

And women...
When can we not depend on men (totally)?
When can we be as nonchalant as men?
When can we master the skill of 'shutting' our ears as and when we want to?
When can we not worry about our facial hair growing and pores enlarging?
When can we play with our kids one moment and leave for a drink the next moment without worries?
When can we stop thinking when we can be like the men?

P/S: haha..ignorre me...i think im ranting too much here after the 2 conversations. I really wish to be a man in my next life!